Thursday, 27 September 2018

The careless lover (Episode 1)

THE CARELESS LOVER Episode 1 My name is Cynthia, I am here to share the story of my life to you, starting from when I am a teenager till I grow up. It all started when I was admitted Into faith primary and secondary school,the day I met the love of my life. I looked at the time and it was six am,I quickly got up took a shower,put on my new uniform and headed for the kitchen for breakfast, I met my mom in the kitchen preparing breakfast. oh I forgot to tell you about my family,I am a family of five which consist of myself, my elder brother Michael, my younger sister favour and mom and dad. Mom is a very jovial person who tried her best to raise us as obedient children and also us to make decisions that is best for us,but dad on the other hand is the type who always want to detect what goes on in our lives and also the type of father that is always busy even tough he is the owner of a big company. My brother is the type who still saw me as a little girl and always try to protect me,my brother and I and my younger sister once attended the same school but I decided to have a change of school after I wrote my jss3 exams so as to get away from my protective brother, he is nice tough but I just want to meet new things and that is y i was admitted into faith primary and secondary school and today is my first day as an ss1 student and my first day as a student at faith primary and secondary school. I got to school by 7:15 am and by 7:30am we started assembly and left for our various classes by 7:50, by 8:00am a slim fair lady of about the age of 30 years old walk into our classes and introduced herself as miss Eunice. she asked to know our names so as to be introduced with the new students who just got admitted. She got to my sit and I introduced myself as Cynthia David and the young handsome dude sitting next to me introduced himself as David Austin.. I look at the young dude and I could see him smiling at me, wow this dude is so handsome I said to myself and sat down. Miss Eunice went to the board and wrote mean on it, she asked the class to define it but everybody is quiet ,she called about two people to define it but they couldn’t then she called me. I defined it as summation of all the data in a value divided by the numbers of value in a set of data. After few minutes she wrote a question on the board and asked one of us to come out and solve it but none of us came out except for David Austin who solve it and got it correctly She thought us for about one hour thirty minutes before the next teacher comes in,few hours time the bell rang for break. l couldn’t go out for break because this is my first day in this school and i am a very shy person ,I was in my sit when a girl of about my age walk up to me and introduced herself as Sonia Dickson. she was slender, average in height and a little light in complexion. The only difference between the both of us is that I am dark in complexion and average in body size. I introduced myself as Cynthia David and we both exchange handshake after that she told me that she is impressed by the way I answered question at my first day at school and that she would like us to be friends, I was so happy and she offered to buy me lunch for accepting to be her friend. She took me to a canteen in the school where we bought meat pie and soft drinks,as we are about eating David Austin walked into the canteen,I looked at him and he smiled at me,he walked up to us and asked to joined us. Sonia quickly accepted and we all had lunched together happily, the bell rang few minutes later and we all left for our classes,at 3:30pm the closing bell rang and everybody started preparing to go home,some people could not even wait for the bell to finish ringing before running out of the class. Everybody left the class except for Sonia and i because I was waiting for her to finish copying the assignment on the board, when she was true we started going home when we heard somebody calling my name, I turned and it was David Austin running and calling out to us
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Tuesday, 25 September 2018


A HEART FOR AN EYE #5 Why does love have to hurt so much? Why does it have to be so complicated? Sitting at the Goma lakes, I hurled a small stone into the water and watched as the ripples spread and died out. People say love hurts, I told myself. Why am I agreeing today? I don't think love hurts. Loneliness hurts, disappointment hurts, I must add poverty too. But love heals all ills. I feel so downcast because I don't feel loved right now. Looking across the lake, I saw Mazuba with two other ladies. They were taking photos. Surely she must be a happy person, I thought to myself. Everybody seems to love her. A streak of jealousy crossed my bleeding heart. Was it Alice and one of the Black Muntu boys who sang the song 'Sembe nenze okondewa'? I don't even know if that's the title but it's the song that came to mind and I sang the Chorus along in my heart: 'Sembe nenze okondewa ine sembe nimankala okondwa ine, sembe nenze okondewa ine sembe nimankala okondwa ine...' But I knew there were people that loved me back home. They loved me at my best and also at my lowest; they love me unconditionally. I missed my family so much but I knew I wouldn't see them in the next seven months or so. I phoned my father. He was so glad to hear from me. His glee made me break down. I love my father very much because he was the first man the entire village who believed in women. He had sent my cousin to school at a time when only boys went to school. It's a pity she died in her final year at CBU. I had never told my father I loved him because in my culture it's something that never happens. But that day told him. He knew something was wrong with me and he asked to know. I told him I had just missed home so much. I was crying as I said that. I think my father shed a tear too. He was quiet for a moment then he told me he loved me. He said he was the proudest father alive because he had the best daughter in the world. If he had been near, I could have hugged him. It could have been the first adult hug I give him because in my culture, grown girls don't hug their daddies. I spoke to mum and my four younger sisters afterwards. They filled me in on everything that was happening in the village. We laughed. But Airtel got jealous and warned me I was running low on top-up. We said our goodbyes and dad quickly came back on the line with: 'Whenever you feel low, always remember daddy loves you. Remember mummy loves you and your sisters, look up to you and love you unconditionally.' 'Thanks, dad. You're the world's greatest dad.' The line died as soon as I said that. Mazuba was headed my way alone. She asked if she could join me and I had no objection. 'Are you alright?' She asked me with sisterly concern. 'I feel better now,' I told her accepting her piece of tissue. I had shed a few tears again as I said goobye to daddy. 'I saw you arriving in school last night and I wanted to follow you but I saw Jeremy too.' I told Mazuba what had happened with a few sobs. She was so empathetic. You see, I was my parents oldest child and had never known what it felt like to have an older sister until I met Mazuba. She took me to her level, explaining she would be leaving the following day. Her fiance was coming to pick her. Yes, she was getting married. She invited me to her wedding and I gladly accepted. She explained something to me about Jeremy's mum that made so much sense. 'I think she was tormented by your beauty, Lulu,' Mazuba explained to me during lunch. I had learnt to cook town food so I had prepared the meal and I was glad she loved it. 'Jeremy might never tell you this because regardless of everything, he loves his mother so much. That woman sabotaged her cousin's happiness. She wasn't supposed to marry the MP, her cousin was. She accused her cousin of nasty things which added up because she framed her. They had grown up side by side just like sisters. She was the pretty one while her cousin was the brainy one. They each got complimented for their strength but she wanted all the praise. 'When her cousin met the MP, he wasn't a politician yet. He was just an ambitious young man; she was jealous because while everybody told her she was the beautiful one, her cousin would get married before her. She thwarted the engagement and got married to her cousin's fiance. Her cousin died of depression a few months later. 'But here's why she might have been mean to you. Her cousin had rich dark skin like you and nice natural hair like yours. I don't know if you look alike but she was also short and had an ample behind like you.' 'How did you know all that?' I asked. 'When Jeremy is drunk, he will shock you with what he will do or say. I think that's why he quit drinking. I brought up the topic when he was sober but he refused to venture into it. He knows his mother is a wicked woman but he loves her still. All sons love their mothers after all.' I spent the whole day with Mazuba. We chatted about a lot of things and did a little shopping together. I accompanied her to the salon and then withdrew some money to take her to the movies. Surely, even poor people have something to offer unless they're just 'short-handed'. She invited me to spend the night with her after I moved my things to another hostel where I'd be staying for the vacation. We chatted all night and laughed like we had known each other all our lives. I learnt why we got along so much: we complemented each other. She had no little sister, only brothers whom she called little rascals and she was the big sister I never had. It's funny how I just arrived at UNZA and started mingling with mafosas. I had so few friends who were fellow freshers. But that's life, if you're not intimidated by people who are ahead of you, you will get to dine with them unlike hate them for being ahead. You might find yourself dining with worms. We slept around 03.00 and I stayed in bed longer, still feeling tired. It was 08.00 when I asked Mazuba what time it was. She had already woken up and was making breakfast. She asked me to rest some more when I tried to rise so I lay in bed like a spoilt brut while she sat at the terminal, serving like a big sister looking out for me. I would miss her so much, I thought to myself. Who would I run to in future when I need a big sister? My family was so far away and I hadn't met dad's relatives who lived in Lusaka. People don't pay you attention when you're poor and they're better placed. But again I don't blame them. Some poor people are too much; all over you all the time wanting you to do literally everything for them. But that's not like my family. We are poor but still have some dignity. Besides, the only poor person I know is one that has no dreams and a vision. Jeremy's call interrupted my thoughts. My phone was on the terminal. It's Mazuba who told me the caller. I remembered his mother's words and my hands refused to badge when Mazuba held out the phone to me, urging me to answer. I shed a tear. 'I can't manage dealing with such a mean mother in law. I want to break up with him,' I told Mazuba. 'You'll break his heart, Lulu. He loves you, he will protect you from his mother's fangs. He protects what he loves.' 'He loved you but he never protected you from getting hurt.' 'He was still a rascal those days. I think he's matured.' 'I don't take insults so easily, Mazuba. I won't always run away and I don't want to put him in an awkward place. You told me yourself, he loves his mother.' 'All boys love their mothers. But he's the kind of mama's boy who will raise his voice at his mother if he has to.' Still I refused to speak to him. As soon as the line cut, Mazuba's phone rang. It waa him again. She put him on loudspeaker. 'Hi Mazuba. How are you?' 'I am fine thanks. How are you, Jeremy?' 'Not so fine. Would you happen to know where Lulu is?' 'What did you do to her?' 'I hurt her. Well, I never slept with her best friend if that's what you're thinking.' 'You would be damned if you did. What do you want now?' 'Can I please see her?' 'How d'you know she's with me.' 'You're the only big sister she has that I know.' Mazuba asked me eith her eyes if I wanted to see him. I knew she wanted me to. I wanted to anyway. I nodded. 'Where are you?' She asked him. 'Outside your hostel.' Mazuba chuckled. 'Typical of you. Come on up.' I don't know why but I felt so nervous. After speaking to Mazuba, I think I kind of still wanted the relationship but I realised it wasn't Jeremy's style to keep quiet on me. He had been quiet all day the previous day. What if he was thinking things through? What if he was also tired of the drama? What if he was coming to break up with me?
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A heart of an eye (Episode 4)

A HEART FOR AN EYE #4 I had thought I had been into rich people's homes until I entered Jeremy's home. I tried to keep my eyes in one place but they defied me. They kept looking around at all the fascinating home equipment. I think most of those items had been imported. The gigantism and gold surrounding the dining table made me feel like royalty. My entire BC wasn't enough to buy the food they served. Actually, I didn't know most of it and I was afraid I might embarrass myself in my potential mother-in-law's presence. She had come out to meet us when we arrived. She was elated to see her only son so much she hugged him and actually kissed his cheek. She gave me a simple hi and led us into the living room. A maid and the garden boy unloaded the vehicle, taking the bags to Jeremy's bedroom. He and I sat at the table as the other house help finished up serving. I could hear Jeremy's mother giving instructions in the kitchen. Jeremy kissed my cheek and patted my shoulder. He probably realised inner me had started speaking to me again after a very long time. That Judas Iscariot! Jeremy brought up one funny story after another to distract me and it worked until his mother joined us. She kept talking to him, ignoring me. Everytime he tried to include me in their stories, she had a clever way of excluding me. She kept trying to rub it in my face that he was her boy and I had to deal with it. But she shocked me most during the meal when she asked, 'so Jeje, what time is your girlfriend coming?' She shocked Jeremy too and I could see how upset he was with her. 'Mum?' Terror was written on his face. 'Yes son?' She feigned not knowing. 'Lulu is my girlfriend.' He patted my shoulder as if telling me to calm down yet it was evident he needed to be told that more. 'I told you I was bringing my girlfriend and she's here with me. Are you alright?' 'This girl is your girlfriend?' She feigned being shocked. 'What happened to that beautiful girl you brought the other time?' 'Mum please, I told you Mazuba and I weren't together anymore. It's been over a year now.' 'Oh my God, what happened? That girl looked clean and beautiful. At least I was assured of beautiful brown grandchildren. What happened?' That was it, I wasn't going to take any more of that woman's nonsense. How dare she! She could be an MP's wife or the first lady or the queen of England for that matter but she has no right to insult me! 'Young lady, I don't know who you are or what you want but we aren't a charity organisation. I can pack you whatever food you want and give you pocket money to last you a lifetime but you can't be one of us. My son must have been drunk to choose you over Mazuba. You have nothing on her. Maybe you should-' 'Mother!!!' Jeremy roared, banging the table. I had never seen him so upset. He yelled a few more things to her but I was out of earshot by then. I ran out of the house with blurred vision. Tears were dancing in my eyes. I didn't want to cry but I didn't want to stay any longer either. I left my stilletoes in the frontyard as I ran back into school. Thank God Chudleigh wasn't so far from Campus. I ran barefoot all the way back, fighting the urge to cry. It was so strong it defied me. I fell down a few times because it was kind of dark. Everyone I met wondered what was wrong with me. I looked elegant in my Woolworth dress and make-up on fleek. I had weaved my hair like any other UNZA moma (female student). I refused to jump into the car when Jeremy caught up with me so he pulled over and joined the marathon. He was trying to explain to me that his mother might just be having a bad evening, that she's not always like that. I didn't care! Thank God everyone in my room had already left and the few that remained in other rooms were out, probably saying their goodbyes. It was the last day of the semester. My bed was still made because I wasn't leaving campus. I was to stay and take part in the inventory that would take place during the vacation. I needed whatever kind of money I could find to send home and also to use for the following semester. I didn't want to bother my parents, looking for my transport money when schools open. I wasn't a parasite. I loved making myself useful but that woman had just treated me like a tick. It shouldn't have hurt but she was the mother of the man I loved. I grabbed all the things that Jeremy had bought me and littered the corridor with them. He was standing there, not knowing what to say. 'Get your things and be gone!! I am not a begger. I just fell in love with a rich boy. I didn't even know you were rich when I noticed you in the hall. I didn't plan to love you. It just happened! I won't get insulted for loving you. Not anymore. Go, rich kid. Leave me alone. I will find a poor guy who will respect me because he will know am not with him for the money. Take your things and go.' I slammed the door in his face and leaned against it powerlessly. I had never wept so hard in my life but that's because I had never been hurt so much either. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
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A heart of an Eye (Episode 3)

A HEART FOR AN EYE (part 3) Amanda came down at me with how I was just a fresher and was already all over the place kissing 'men' at the level. She threatened she would report me to DOSA (Dean of Students Affairs) and I would lose my bed space. I apologised for my indecency and when I was about to go to my room from hers, where the castigation had taken place, she added: 'Don't get your hopes up. Jeremy is a player. He will hurt you just like he hurt my friend last year. He's a smooth operator, gets you hooked to him and then leaves you hanging from a thread. He's crooked.' I acted like I believed her and got the details of her so-called friend whom I managed to find the following day. Mazuba and I talked over sharwama by the New Rez. She was a very beautiful lady with a model's figure. I learnt she was actually former Miss UNZA. What a beautiful face with a beautiful heart. She didn't laugh at me when I messed myself with the 'soup' (sauce) in the sharwama. In stead, she tipped me on how to eat one. That's how you know a lady is REALLY refined. All diva's might look the same but you can tell the real ones apart by interaction. To think I had thought Amanda was a real queen! I learnt from Mazuba that she and Amanda were no longer friends because of Amanda's and Jeremy's treachery. So Amanda had been her bestfriend since fresher. Whenever Jeremy and Mazuba had had a fight, she had been the go-between. But what Mazuba hadn't known was that she also had eyes for Jeremy. She told me she had found messages, suggesting romantic involvements between them, basically initiated by Amanda. Confronted, Jeremy admitted having caressed with Amanda but he blamed it on the beer. They had gone drinking together at Kalahari and something almost happened between them. Truth is Jeremy couldn't exactly remember what transpired that night. It was possible he had slept with Amanda. Mazuba broke up with him immediately. She refused to have anything to do with him or Amanda anymore. Even if Jeremy promised never to drink again, she couldn't let him back in but she admitted it was the last time he had ever handled a bottle. Mazuba warned me about Amanda. She was a kill-joy, she alleged. She told me Jeremy had had a few unstable moments in the past but he seemed changed these days. It relieved me but I was upset that Amanda had had something with my Jeremy. I knew whatever it was, she wasn't over it and she would stay in my hair and in my ear to make me feel bad. I hate petty competitions. On my way to the lib (library), I asked myself what I had really come to the University for. Everyone in my village was counting on me. How would they feel if they learnt I had gone on exclude because I was too busy competing for men and getting hurt in the process? I am only eighteen, it's better I concentrate on school. First things first. I collected my assignment results after the lib. I wasn't the highest but I had an A. It lifted my mood. I had a new determination with a whole new direction. Screw Jeremy and all the drama that comes with him. I walked solo to the Goma lakes and sat on the lover's seat with my books. It was refreshing out there. I made calls back home and talked to whoever was present. They were glad to hear from me and to hear about my performance. I shed a joyful tear. I ignored all of Jeremy's calls and texts for the day and refused to go out when he came at night. My friends didn't understand; they thought I was being arrogant for nothing. Who says no to a man like him? But that was the point! I never wanted a man who's everywhere, doing everything with everyone. I wasn't wealthy I know but it's not wealth that defines a person's worth. If who you are is defined by what you have, then who are you when what you have has been taken from you? I stood in front of the mirror when all the girls were out one day. I took off all my clothes and had a good look at my rich dark body and long natural hair. I didn't need validation, I was beautiful. I had the intellect that so few beauties had. You know God and how he portions blessings; he never gives it all to one person but he had given me! I had the ability to generate my own income. I didn't need pizza that I had to pay for using my beautiful body. So I went into the kitchen and started frying mitesa again. I had received my BC but had used it for more important things and had saved some for eventualities. When the monks started shooting, hell I shot back that day. My Bemba wasn't fluent but they understood what I said: 'Fuma apa chi monku!! Waba ama ng'a!! Wafuma kwa Kaputa wafika pano uletuka umunani wabanoko ati majombo? Waba ukubutuluka!! Kasambe iwe, chibe chobe ulenunsha temunani wandi!! Waba ifiko!! (Get out, boy! Mind your cracked feet! You're from Kaputa and yet you have the audacity to insult the relish your mother cooks? You now call it gumboots? Take a bath! It's your sweat you're smelling not my relish, you dirty being!!!)' I opened the windows and stood by the doorway so that they could hear me clearly. All my chains were broken, I could face the world. I didn't need the protection of a union veep or a politician's son. I was enough! More voices of monks shouted when I retaliated, others peeped to see who it was; a fresher that had the audacity to respond. I was too busy shouting back to realise Jeremy had arrived with a friend. They were amused. His friend helped me shouting: 'Iwe chimonku iwe, muleke umwaiche! Wapona ama kosi (course) elo ulefwaya utinye umwaiche. Kabelenge opo taulaya pa exclude!...' I felt so happy and kind of liked Jeremy's friend. At least I knew him, he was UNZASEDA president. I knew him because I was one foot in the school of Education and another in the school of Humanities; LIS and DS. I invited Noel in but he said he couldn't go in because the veep was allergic to fish. Even just being near it made him fall sick. It was then that I learnt it hadn't been malaria the other time he had been hospitalised. My mitesa had made him sick! These mayadi boys fragile! I greeted him when Noel excused us. Just like I had thought, he demanded to know why I was avoiding him. 'I don't want a cheat, Jeremy,' I told him point-blank. 'I don't want drama or trauma. You slept with your girlfriend's best friend and now you're here to sleep with me? Well, I am not cheap like some level reps who can open their legs for their best friend's man. I don't want you in my life. Do you understand?' 'Wow.' He clapped his hands. 'You will judge me for something that happened in my previous relationship a year and several months ago? I am a different person! I don't even know if I really slept with her. We were drunk. Anyway, I don't know why I try so hard. It's clear you don't like me. I will leave you alone. I wish you well.' A hollow sat in my stomach when Jeremy left. Somehow I thought he was right. It's not fair to judge a person based on their past. People change. Life goes on. Who am I to remain stuck in someone's forgotten past? I sought him and sought his forgiveness. He emptied his past to me so that if I hear it out there, I already know. It wasn't ugly at all. Maybe it's because I know how scandalous rich kids could be. We had Ice-cream at Milky Lane and he got me a few dresses and shoes in Woolworths. He has great taste in clothing. I didn't know my body was even more beautiful than I could imagine. I had always hidden it in oversize clothes. So Jeremy and I were officially together, much to Amanda's chagrin. She stopped talking to me and bought every new article of clothing that came in Mud boutique just to show me she too had swag. She put herself in a competition with me and yet she was the only competitor. I don't compete with shallow girls who think life is all about looks. Her transcript looked pretty pathetic with all those C's and C+'s. I heard she would graduate with a silent. Why should it shock anybody? She was nothing beyond make-up and new clothes. How dare she assumes everyone is in a contest of make-up and dress up. Shallow girl. The next several months were the happiest months of my life. I couldn't believe I actually enjoyed the spotlight. I met so many people through Jeremy and had so much fun but I always remembered the key reason I was there. I never forgot my books. Plus my Pa Mano loved school too so we jobbed (studied) together, did most things together. I actually saw us together in the future; we were old and successful with many children and grandchildren. What I liked most about Jeremy is that he respected me. We had kissed and smooched on many occasions but I was still a virgin. My friends didn't believe me but it's okay. Truth is stranger than fiction. It was heaven on earth until the day he wrote his final exam and decided to introduce me to his mother. Oh my God...I will never forget that day!!!
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A heart of an Eye(Episode 2)

A HEART FOR AN EYE #2 Jeremy is the one. He had come down to me just to tell me he had gotten one digit in my contact number wrong. He said he had wanted to call and say good night but someone else had picked the call. I checked the number and found he hadn't gotten one digit wrong, he had gotten the code wrong. You see, phone numbers are just like making decisions: there's a thin line between making the right one and the wrong one. You get one thing wrong and the entire number is wrong altogether. It was past midnight and we were all alone outside the building. Jeremy was standing so close to me as he corrected my number that I could feel my virgin body respond to him of its own volition. Who's the bitch now? I couldn't believe I was so sensitive. No man had ever moved me so much. But Jeremy raised his head from the phone with a smile. 'I have the right number now. Phew!' I smiled back nervously. A cheap guy could have used me that night. He could have gotten my virginity without a hustle and walked away like a rascal. But Jeremy held his hand out to me and said good night. I thought about him all night, I think I even dreamt of my knight. Oh yes, he had already become mine, at least in my imagination. Imaginations are for free, suck it if you can't stand it. Several weeks passed before I heard from that guy that I had come to have bitter-sweet feelings for. He had gotten my number but never called ever. My anxiety had hit so many climaxes and just when I had thought it's over, I ran into him at UNZA chapel during a Chi-Alpha meeting. Apparently, he was a fellowship leader and had been unwell for some time. Those people loved him, they welcomed him warmly. My concentration on the fellowship dwindled, looking at Jeremy. I felt bad that he had been battling malaria in the hospital and I hadn't been to see him. In stead I had hated on him, thinking he's toying with my emotions. I waited to greet him after the service. Everybody wanted to have a portion of him so I sat outside, waiting. He had to cut some conversations short to be with me. He walked me to the level, where I dropped my Bible and walked him to his. All eyes were on us. I couldn't believe he wasn't ashamed to be seen around with a villager. He actually introduced me to whoever he stopped to greet. It was from those conversations that I learnt he was the UNZASU (university of Zambia Student Union) veep. Jesus Christ!! What was I doing with such an important person? I brooded until we arrived at his level, at the Vet. I was so upset with him I refused to go into his level. 'Why didn't you say you were veep?' I asked emotionally. 'When was I supposed to mention it? I fell sick that night I came to get the correct number and you never bothered to see me.' Well, I had heard the veep was unwell but then the name they called him was different. I hadn't met the veep and they called him 'Pa Mano' (roughly translates into English as 'Intelligent One). So it was Jeremy! I felt horrible and burst into tears like a little girl. Jeremy comforted me and took me into the level. It almost looked like a fully furnished house inside. I could tell he wasn't an ordinary student. There were three or four certificates of excellence hanging on the wall and naturally I understood why he was called Pa Mano. We watched a movie as he made us lunch; oh yes the veep prepared me lunch. I felt like such a v.i.p. I learnt a few more things about him during the meal. They were supposed to wow many a girl but they sank my spirit. Jeremy was the only child of the area member of parliament. I had had to force it out of him to know. People that are something in life rarely talk about themselves I found. When a person is all about I am this, I am that, I have this and that, usually they aren't much. Jeremy didn't understand why I kept getting mad every new detail of him I learnt. His life charmed many girls and he must have assumed it would charm me too. If he was going to be my man, I just knew we never were going to have privacy. First his father is a politician, and he too is a 'politician'. Well, he's the student union vice president! I loved my privacy and I wasn't going to lose it for anything. I walked out on him abruptly, pregnant with emotion. He came after me, wondering why. 'I don't want to be your friend or your anything. Stay away from me,' I told him. Jeremy had to yell to get me to listen. When he finally had my attention, he said; ' what do you want me to do, Lulu? I don't say anything, you get upset. I tell you who I am again you get upset. What do you want me to do, huh?' He was right. I didn't know what I wanted. Well, maybe I did but I didn't know how to put it. I couldn't undo his vice presidency or his father's political career. I had heard a lot about his father's credibility. If I had known Jeremy was his son, I swear I couldn't have looked at him a second time in the hall. I couldn't have allowed myself to get so excited. I told him to leave me alone but he followed me to the level. He threatened to enter if I left him alone outside. Now it was my turn to ask him what he wanted. 'I want you to be my girlfriend,' he said. My heart missed several beats. I thought he would burst laughing and say he's kidding but he looked into my eyes as if waiting for a response. Words deserted me. 'Can you be my girlfriend?' he rephrased. 'We are worlds apart,' I told him. 'Don't pretend you can't see I am just a village girl and you're it.' 'Why do you minimise yourself so much?' he lamented. 'Why should it take an outsider to tell you what a wonder you are? But if you really want to underrate yourself, hear me out; I don't care where you're from. I only saw love when I looked at you that day in the hall. I hadn't seen such natural beauty in a long while. Girls are so fake these days but you were natural and far more beautiful. You caught my eye and I was going to find you even if I hadn't run into you here. I love you.' I shed a tear looking back into his eyes. I could swear I loved him too even if I didn't really know him. I trembled when he cupped my face with his tender hands. Mwana mayadi, nkuku ya loan, his hands were very soft like toilet paper. 'You'll break my heart if you're crying because you think you aren't good enough. Don't confuse me with my father's achievements or the silly title I have in the student union. I am just a guy and I've loved a girl. Why should we complicate issues?' How could I turn him down like that? He had me at his mercy and God knows I initiated that kiss. It was teethy because nobody had taught me how to kiss but for a first kiss, I think it was awesome. 'Ahem!' Someone interrupted. It was Amanda. She always emerged from nowhere. She wasn't looking at us; she was glaring. And then it hit me, she had introduced me to Jeremy vaguely. What if....what if? Oh my God!!
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Saturday, 22 September 2018



Episode 1

(Original Concept, year 2015)

This is a factual story which talks about issues affecting a girl child due to poverty and poor standard of living.
 it only requires you to be attentive, learn something and participate through comments.

Just from the begging of it all  life has not been fair to me right. I was born into a beautiful family; three boys and five girls plus mum and dad, survival had been a struggle.
My father was selling, avocados, mangoes, pawpaw and guavas and my mum was a petty trader who dealt in foodstuffs.
We lived in Dundumwezi a remote village somewhere in the Southern part of Zambia.
My father’s business didn’t earn him much and even after combining with the proceeds of my mum’s petty trading, my parents still couldn’t afford 3 square meals to sustain the family.
I am the first child; followed by a male then females before the two last males.
I never went to school even for a day. None of us did. Then disaster struck.
My father went for his usual business and never came back.
On dispersal of a search party, it turned out that he fell from the pawpaw tree and died on the spot.
This sudden death of my dad launched my family into more terrible hardship and my mum couldn’t cope.
Things grew worse after my dad’s burial and it became necessary for my mum to send us out to live with different people in the city.
At that time I was 15 years old and my immediate younger brother was 13.
It was my late father’s sister that brought up the suggestion to my mother and my mother quickly bought the idea and soon had me introduced to my madam.
In a matter of days, the whole arrangement was concluded and I followed my madam back to the city of Kafue.
The first few days, I was treated well maybe because it was my first day of arrival.
I was shown around the house, taught how to use some of the appliances, I was also shown the little room that was to be my room and also the small mattress that was to be my mattress.
Then I settled in my new home with hope that things would move fine and my madam won’t have any reason to send me home prematurely….
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Love in Times Like this (Emotional Story)

A funny feeling crept up the back of Harry’s neck, the kind of feeling he always got when he was excited about something. He followed Atimma and stood just behind her. “I love You. It’s just that I am not buoyant enough to marry you now. Give me sometime my darling.” He said huskily, laying his hands on her shoulders. “What if I decide to give you the money for our wedding? I can afford it.” Atimma said. Her tone was sharp, her manner indignant, and her eyes sparked like a hammer on an anvil as she stared at Harry directly in the eyes. Harry nodded and sat gently on the bed. “And after marriage, we are going to survive on my okirika business?” He paused and said in a painful whisper. “Give me time. You won’t like to stay here in a one bedroom after our wedding.” “I will. We can start from here. I can’t wait any longer!” She said with a contemptuous curl on her lips. “Are you sure about this?” She defiantly turned her head and met his gaze. “Yes I am. I am doing a good job Harry. I can support you without anyone knowing that the money is from me. We’ve dated for four years already, I will be thirty by July, how long should I wait more?” She turned away, looking at the picture frame of her and Harry on the wall. She sat down and lowered her head. “What if we plan the wedding for next Year? By then I will be fully settled. I mean I will have a good job by then.” Atimma shook her head in disgust. “What is wrong with giving you money to come marry me, pride? Will it take away your manhood Harry? I said I will assist you. I will cope! I am doing a good job. My salary can take care of you, myself and your mom.” She yelled angrily. Harry moved closer so he could sit beside her. ” You have to understand me.” Lowering her head, she said softly, “I think you never wanted to marry me. You’ve been using me for four good years Harry?” He eased back away from her and stood up. “Okay, Fine! let me prove you wrong, bring the cash, let’s plan our wedding.” Harry said loudly. She turned her head and gave him a small smile. “When should we plan on seeing my parents?” She said in a slow delight. “Next weekend. I will inform uncle Ettete and my mom.” Atimma nodded in approval and hugged Harry tight to herself. “Finally, we are going to spend the rest of our lives together my love.” She said in soft whispers. Harry took her into his arms and kissed her softly on the lip. She gave a short laugh and said in a teasing tone, “Mr and Mrs Harry Edet in few months right?” He laughed. “Soon baby.” She knelt beside him and chuckled. “I just can’t wait to get married to you Harry.” He glared at her but said nothing. She cuddled close to him, closing her eyes until she slept off in his arms.
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Bright lovely day by Stella (Frictional Story)

Abayomi had a bottle of Night Train which I collected from him. He and Chukwudi followed Toun to the store to spy at the people fuccking . I was looking for the perfect place to hide without being seen by people that know me. Everywhere was occupied. I blamed myself for believing that things might return to normal between Timi and i. if I had been any smart, I would have ignored him. I consider myself a strong girl but this heart of mine brings me down. I saw an unoccupied Toyota, I sat on the bonnet and cried. The Night train was diffusing into my blood at a fast rate.
I saw Acho and his chic walk pass. She gave me a frown while Acho limped beside her. Toun and Abayomi found me where I sat.
Abayomi: omo igbo, why are you here alone na?
Me: nothing, I just want to be alone
Toun: where is Timi?
Me: I don’t know
The fool chose that time to come outside with Annie, I saw them before Abayomi and Toun did. Her hands were around her shoulder, he looked happy. Toun immediately came to hug me, Abayomi looked down like it was his fault. At that point I started crying again.
Toun led me inside the house, saying I should dance my pain away. But it was a disaster when I noticed Timi and Annie dancing, Toun started dancing with me at the same tine blocking the guys trying to come in-between us. The alcohol was taking its tool and I started dancing faster, Toun was enjoying herself, we were giggling.
Then Toun stopped dancing as somebody was finally able to come between us. I wondered who had the mind to encroach on her space when I saw it was Jafar.
For a guy that had a mystical feel to him, I couldn’t imagine him dance , talk less of dancing with me. I was probably not the only person surprised because it seemed that people stopped dancing to watch us dance. I was shy to dance wildly like I usually did, so I was a bit slow. I noticed the eyes that were fixated at us, I was shy. I was shy until his hands encircled my waste. My hips moved to his touch, he wasn’t smiling or had his mouth opened like guys usually did when they were dancing with a girl. We danced like we were royalty..
Jafar: you declined having dinner with me because of this party?
Me: yes…I had to come, but you had plans of coming too?
Jafar: I changed my mind, Aisha and Uche once dated.
Me: oh…I never knew…
I started having fun as we danced and spoke. I got envious glances from the girls I had seen him with earlier.
Me: not seen you in a party around before
Jafar: I am not a fan of parties..
I didn’t want to stop dancing but he did after a while.
Jafar: thanks for dancing with me
Me: the pleasure is all mine, Jafar.
Toun was winking at me when I walked to her,Abayomi was standing behind her, dancing to her bum even though she didn’t move.
Toun: he likes you
Me: who?
Toun: Jafar. Timi couldn’t detach his eyes from you.
I felt tinny winny happy. The Alcohol was taking its effect. I had finished the drink in the bottle, even though the ponch was still in my system.
Me: I want to go home.
Toun : but the party just started..i want to eat barbeque.
Me: Abayomi I want to go home.
Abayomi: go and meet Timi na, I am with my chic.
Me: May God punish you, idiot.
Abayomi stuck out his tongue.
Sometimes I do strange things that I cannot explain. One of those things was walking to Jafar that evening and sitting beside him. I looked at him and wanted to talk but ended up resting my head on his shoulder..
Jafar: you want to leave this party?
Me: yes
Jafar: where do you want to go to?
Me: Abuja..loooool..
I joked.
I laughed as once again I rested my head on his felt so much like home.

When I woke up, it took me a while to get to my senses. I was still high though. Everything was blurry. I was in a car and Jafar was driving. I dozed off..
When I opened my eyes again, he was still driving, he didn’t know I was looking at him as his eyes were fixed on the road. The road didn’t look familiar, I wanted to talk but I slept off again. Opening my eyes again, he was still driving. Ah ahn.. my house no far like this na..
Me: Jafar whatsup?
Jafar: hey, you have woken up..
Me: how long did I sleep? Last I remembered, was walking to your car..
Jafar: like 5hrs… slept off immediately we got in.
Me: where are we going to, I don’t know this road and why should you be driving for 5 hrs?
Jafar: I am just obeying you..
Me: obeying me how?
Jafar: you wanted to go to Abuja
Me: oh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which type of guy obeys a drunk girl, takes her to a state so far from Ogun in the middle of the night..?
Jafar: relax
Me: how can you tell me to relax?..turn back right away..
Jafar: its 4am, we have been driving for 6hrs, we are in Akoko Ondo…in four hours time, we would be in Abuja. U rather we go back?
Me: yes!
Jafar: alright..
He swerved to the right of the road and parked. That was when I noticed the Volvo in front and the Hilux at our back. We were in the middle of a three man convoy to Abuja. This Jafar dey kolo o!..
Sparrow was the first to get to us, he was the guy pinned to follow me around.
Sparrow: Jaf, wetin do your car?
Jafar: nothing o, we need to head back?
Uche came down from the Hilux and joined Sparrow at Jafar’s side of the car.
Uche: mehn…sleep dey catch me o…we are less than 2hrs from Lokoja, I dey feel say we go rest for there o..
Sparrow: I swear! Hungry dey catch me sef, Jafar make we reach Lokoja first na, we fit return for morning.
Jafar: if we get to Lokoja, then we will have to get to Abuja. If we are going to turn back, we turn back now.
Another guy came down from Uche’s Hilux, short guy with a funny gap tooth..
Me: im sorry guys, I thought Jafar was taking me home.
They didn’t reply, but I felt it would be selfish of me to force them to continue driving.
Jafar: so what do you say ma’am?
Me: Abuja it is!…but what are we going to do there?
Uche: no be u say Abuja?…i don tire o!
Jafar: we will just hang out dear.
I fought back the fear. I never thought for one second I will be on my way to Abuja with Four Confa guys..chai…Alcohol na B-----d.
Me: Abayomi and Toun will be scared
Jafar: you will call them..
Me: no problem, I hope you return me in one piece..
The short ugly guy had a smirk on his face, I wanted to slap him but my liver no reach.
Jafar: lets bounce..
As we proceeded with the journey, the only cars that passed by us were Luxurious buses. The Volvo remained in front, while the Hilux came from the rear. The AC of his car was the truth! wonder I kept dozing off..James Blunt’s “u’re beautiful” was playing in his car Cd player. If I wasn’t in a weird situation, I would have found this very romantic. With my seat belt in place, my eyes were involuntarily closing, but before I slept, I wanted to say something.
Me: Jafar?
Jafar: Tana?
Me: you are the weirdest guy eva…
I slept looking at the smile across his dark face and his well-trimmed goatee..
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Thursday, 20 September 2018

A heart of an Eye (Episode 1)



As I stood in a BC queue at the Unzaversity of Zambia (UNZA), oh yes I said unzaversity because that's what my excited friends and I called the highest learning institution of the land; I saw this gentleman that took my breath away.

The sports hall teemed with students of various studying levels and I was just a fresher, all the way from Makunka village somewhere in Livingstone. I didn't know that guy but he was standing beside a mafosa (fourth year) queue, chatting with some guys in the queue. At first I had thought I was just seeing things but every second that passed proved to me he too had noticed me.

All my life I had wanted to find myself a tall, dark guy like the guys in the romance novels I had read in high school. I had never imagined a brown guy would sweep me off my feet with nothing but just a glance. That guy though!! How could he fall for me of everyone in the hall? I swear the masad (third year) and mafosa queues had girls so fine you would assume they don't visit the 'little girls room'.

I dropped my gaze to the dress I wore. Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing a night dress and yet it was my finest dress. The maliposa I wore made me feel like such a villager. Who am I kidding? I was a villager! How could that cute mafosa (or so I assumed) be head over hills in love with me?

I crawled back in my mental shell at that realisation. 'Stop kidding yourself,' inner me told me. 'That guy is beyond your league. Why do you like humiliating yourself?'

But inner me was wrong, that's the first time I was ever flattering myself about a man. I tried to reason with her but she wouldn't listen so I let her scold me till she had no more derogatory words to issue.

I left the hall feeling stupid and hungry and dizzy. I hadn't had anything to eat all day. UNZA life; it felt a little too fast for a girl like me. I went back to my hostel, TP big flat where I didn't exactly know anybody. Most of those fellow freshers were Lusaka and Copperbelt residents so they were familiar with town life and some of them even knew one another before campus. I was the only total stranger.

I took zigolo and a bun I had arrived with from home. Mitesa and dried chiwawa were to be had for dinner so I took a quick shower and went into the kitchen to prepare supper. Some of the housemates had gone to eat out and others were just around the school, orienting themselves to the university. I started two-plate cooker so as to prepare supper.

Holy Christ! I just heard the monks shooting from the neighbouring hostels:

'Nindani wamene apika nsapato?!!! Moma iwe, wafuma kwi? Abanobe baleipika inama iwe wafika fye watampa nokwipika insapato? Filenunka ifyo!!! (Who is boiling shoes?!!! You girl, where are you from? Your friends are preparing meat and you arrive just to boil dirty shoes? It's stinking!!)'

The housemates who were around laughed at me. I was so terrified I almost quit school to go back to my village and just become a farmer.

But our level rep arrived from wherever with a smile and a pat on my shoulder saying; 'don't  mind them. They're just welcoming you.' I had met her the previous day and I had liked her right away. She was beautiful and kind. I shed a tear in her embrace but lo and behold who had come in with her; that cute guy from the hall!

Oh my God, I felt so small, so humiliated but he had a warm smile on his face that told me: 'don't worry.' God he was even cuter upclose.

Amanda, my level rep introduced him to me as her coursie and me to him as the newest housemate. She was about to go to her room when her phone rang. She picked the call and afterwards told the cute guy to wait in the kitchen while she gets something from someone somewhere within camp.

I could feel my heart throbbing in my chest, ready to pop. How does Amanda leave me alone with ....I realised I didn't even know his name.

'Jeremy,' he introduced himself as though he had heard my thoughts.

I dropped several plates, breaking a few before I could get composed enough to tell him my name was Luyando.

'Nice name,' he said, a broader smile.

My heart melted, standing in front of this handsome young man who looked at me like I was what he lived for. Whatever he saw in me. I was wearing a chitambala (head scarf), chitenge and ma patapata (flip flops) yet just looking at him one could tell he hailed from money. I didn't need to touch his skin to know it was silky or know the actual worth of his watch to know he was wealthy. I didn't let myself get fooled by the simplicity of the t-shirt or the shorts he wore; I know filthy rich people have a tendency of wanting to look simple.

It wasn't his wealth that moved me, it was that such a fine guy would be moved by such a basic girl in a world where being a slay queen was more important than anything to many.

Jeremy helped me pick the plates I had littered on the floor. Actually, he picked them himself. I was smelling mitesa and didn't want to dare get any closer to him. The embarrassment. But he came close as he put them back where they had been.

I was relieved when Amanda called him, announcing she would take longer so he should follow her.  Interestingly, he declined, stating he would just go back to his level.

'You're the lady I saw in the hall, aren't you?'

That brought back my jitters, which had began to depart. So he had really noticed me! That bitch called inner me had looked down on me, shame on her. She's supposed to be the source of my outter confidence but she had betrayed me, leaving me out in the cold. 'Judas Iscariot!' I scolded her back, standing akimbo in the eye of my mind. But outwardly, I was so calm and collected.

'Yes,' I told Jeremy. He requested for my number and for the first time in my life, I gave a man my real phone number with the kind of excitement one would get to know their name is written in the book of life.

A duo of housemates walked in with boxes of pizza as Jeremy was saving my number. They gave me the kind of look that said 'eh! Nanga imwe nichani kunkala ambitious so? (Really? Why would you allow yourself to be so ambitious?)'

In my imagination, I swung at them and stuck my tongue out to spite them back. They greeted Jeremy flirtatiously and greeted me with the reluctance inner me had had towards me getting excited about Jeremy.

I offered them nsima but they laughed at me, saying they don't eat smelly fish and dried chiwawa. I was learning to use the word bitch so soon because I could swear those girls were bitches. They both hailed from one of the shanty compounds in could they call such delicious relish smelly? Mxxxxm, I swore in my heart. Mwabwela pa UNZA two days mwankala kudala ba some of us? Diva-wannabe's!

Whatever, people are so fake these days, I told myself feasting. I refused to partake of their pizza and cowered into my blankets as early as 8PM.

I could hear them talking of the guys who had goldrushed them. I assumed they had bought them the pizza. For a second I thought Jeremy was probably bent on goldrushing me too. My spirit sagged and I began to hate him for taking my heart and leaving me behind.

I was a pure virgin, hadn't even kissed before. And the humour in me began to brew; well what if Jeremy had kissed me tonight? My mouth was mitesa-smell-filled. What an awful kiss could it have been! I burst laughing below the covers when I realised all the beddings smelled like dry fish. Maybe those 'bitches' were right after all; it is smelly fish! But tasty too. Well, whatever!

I kicked the covers and joined in the conversation. Technically, I was just a listener. I learnt that those two had slept with their 'goldrushers' on the first date. They hadn't been virgins so I guess it wasn't such a big deal to them.

I had decided long ago never to break my sacredness before my wedding night so I resigned myself to my decision and tried to fall asleep.

Other girls trickled in excitedly, each sharing how their day had gone but I had so little to tell so I just listened. When everyone was in, we heard a knock at the door.

'Use voice data or bounce!' The most courageous girl in the room shouted. Everyone followed suit.

'It's Jeremy.'

My heart thundered and other insides cringed. Excitement mingled with fear and anxiety, making me a nervous wretch. I swear I was going to faint....
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9 Engaging jokes to lighten up your day

1. Toothpicks were missing in the house, then my Mother asked our maid, and she was like: 😧it's not me, even when I use I put them back

2. Some African Parents will be like 'I will not place Curse on you, but whatever you do to me your children will do you same. Is this one a Proclaimation or a Declaration???

3. Women already have 3-5 days of loosing blood every month.
Can't mosquitoes be considerate and focus only on men.......

4. Everyone has a right to be Foolish but some Idiots use it Stupidly.
Teacher: Mention 10wild animals
Student: 5lions. 5tigers. . . . . .

5. My school teacher taught me most of the Lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my Uncle abroad when she knows my Uncle is in the Village.

6. Dating a Church Girl is the Best....I Cheat, she finds out, we pray together and blame the Devil

7. A Rapists entered a Bedroom, tied up a Husband and Wife...kissed de Wife's ear and went to the bathroom....the husband said to the wife" satisfy him or he will kill us, be strong. I luv U" wife said" he didn't kiss me, He whispered in my ear dat he is a Gay, he need Vaseline and I told him it's in the bathroom, so be strong I love U too....!!! Husband fainted

8. My mom entered my room and saw me asleep. She held my head, slapped me and said to me "Your last seen on WhatsApp was 1minute ago, stand up and go buy me bread"

9. A Man missed his wife who travelled so much that he felt the matrimonial bed was too big for just him.

So, he decided to sleep on the sofa, dining chairs and sometimes in the library. He even slept in the children's room and the guest room.

When his wife came back, she asked the maid if her husband was Sleeping well. The Maid answered 'Madam, since you left, oga has been sleeping around o!'. The woman fainted.

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Why my pastor blocked me on Facebook (Funny Naija Joke)


I sent him a friend request on Facebook and he innocently accepted. Two minutes later his message came in:

*PASTOR:* How are you?

*ME:* I'm fine Daddy.

*PASTOR:* May the building of heavenly favour collapse on your head.

*ME:* (No reply)

*PASTOR:* May the thunder of Blessing strike you and your family.

*ME:* (No reply)'

*PASTOR:* May God slash you with the axe of long life.

*ME:* (No reply)

*PASTOR:* May God stab you with the knife of riches.

*ME:* (No reply)

*PASTOR:* May you be sentenced to life imprisonment in the eternal jail of success!

*ME:* (No reply)

*PASTOR:* May the Trade centre of happiness collapse on you and your family.

*ME:* (No reply)

*PASTOR:* My son are you there?

*ME:* Yes Daddy!

*PASTOR:* You should be saying Amen to claim the Blessings.

*ME:* Ok, it's my turn to pray for you Sir!

*PASTOR:* Alright my son go ahead.

*ME:* May the over speeding trailer of Blessings jam and crush you and your family,

*PASTOR:* (No reply).

*ME:* May the light of God blind your eye that you may not see the sufferings of this life anymore,

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* May the earthquake of happiness swallow you and your family members,

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* May the sea of miracle drown you and your family members,

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* May the Boko-haram of joy kidnap you sir!

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* May the death of riches kill you, your family members and all your friends and relations,

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* May the anointing from above destroy your church and kill all your church members excluding me and my family in Jesus name (Amen)!

*PASTOR:* (No reply)

*ME:* Ah Ah Daddy are you there? You should be saying Amen to all these wonderful Prayers.

*PASTOR:* May thunder fire you! Idiot.... Mr ukpor say God bless you and your family

Plz keep laughing and forget d bad situation of Nigeria joooooooor!!!

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Love feast Presentation(Funny Naija Joke)

This still hurts me

Last week sunday... There was a program going on in my church titled "love feast"..

This is a program where by, you will buy a gift, wrap and package it, another person will buy his or her own gift, wrap and package it, then we will all gather in the church and exchange the gifts
So last week, I don't have much money with me  and I don't want to miss the program because, I must gain a nice gift from someone .. So I decided to buy anything, I went and bought
garri, you know that garri use to be heavy, so I package the garri in form of television , I bought a carton of television, put the garri inside and support it with a heavy stone  then i packaged it, and it gave me a shape of television ..
So when I arrived at the church, people were dragging to seat with me because they want to
exchange their own gift with mine. (Una don die today) I said in my mind"
Finally a girl who also brought her own gift sat near me, her gift has the shape of a fridge , I don't know what is inside but I believe is a nice gift. (I don hammer) I said in my mind
So when it got to the time of exchanging of gifts, me and the girl both exchanged our gifts, she
smiled and collected my own gift that contains garri and stone but in shape of television
I collected her own gift, it was heavy like a fridge
I chartered a taxi to take me home, I didn't even argue the price with the driver . I walked
into my compound like a big man
when I got home, I commanded the two boys playing outside to quickly come and help me carry my presumed big freezer, I was
thinking in my mind what brand was the deep freezer, could
it be Samsung, or LG, I think it should be Thermocool because the thing heavy
I lock my door and windows, I was very happy that I have cheated the girl and collected her
nice gift, but I have begged God for forgiveness  because I don't have much money
When I opened the gift, behold!!
I saw two bags of sands with two heavy stones bigger than the stone I put inside my own gift
That type of stones construction companies normally used for road constructions
Everywhere in my room as I speak is full of sands!!
My people beware of ladies, they are evil, no man can do what this girl did to me
Atleast I bought garri and put inside my own, but this evil girl didn't buy anything, pure sand,
honestly this girl is wicked, her mind is evil
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Wednesday, 19 September 2018

What a life (Finale)


Episode 24 (FINAL)
Doctor: “Ah, I remember you. My patient’s hot tempered husband, I remember how you angrily left my office that day even though I wanted to tell you something very important about your wife’s health status at that time. Well, about your question, I don’t know why your wife had a miscarriage because there was actually no miscarriage”.
Dozie: “I don’t understand what you mean, doctor. Are you saying my wife is still carrying that pregnancy?”
Doctor: “There was never any pregnancy. I guess she was under pressure and that is why she put up that act. Wait a minute, didn’t her mother explain all these to you? She promised to tell you everything when you calm down that day”. While he was talking, Dozie who was holding his iphone in his hand was recording his conversation with the doctor without his knowledge.
Dozie: “Thank you very much, doctor but I have to leave now”, he got up abruptly and left the office. From there, he drove straight to his parents house and after they listened to the doctor’s revelation on his phone, he left them and drove to his house. Eno was on her bed taking a nap when he kicked the door on her.
Eno: “Gosh, you scared me Dozie. I thought it was an armed robber that entered the house. Why did you bang the door like that?”
Dozie: “So, you still have mouth to talk? Not only are you a cheap prostitute and seductress, you are also a wicked and pathetic little liar. A pretender per excellence, that is what you are. God, I don’t even know what to think about your mother, to think that a woman in her right senses can mislead her own biological daughter this way is appalling”.
Eno: “Why are you calling me and my mother names? Are you drunk or something?”
Dozie: “Before I open my eyes and close them, you have packed your things and returned back to your evil mother where you belong. You think you can trap with any fake pregnancy? Well, my instincts told me that you were lying but for the sake of my mother’s political ambition, I decided to play along. As you know, the elections have come and gone and my mother won the position she contested for. Now is time for you to leave, this so called arrangee marriage is over”.
Eno: “What! You mean because your mother is now a senator of the Federal Republic of Nigeria you can now throw me out?”
Dozie: “No, I am throwing you out because I have confirmed that you were never pregnant for me. It was all a sham, a stunt you and your mother pulled to drag me into your miserable lives. My parents and I know and that was why we never did any ceremony with you. If you remember, we didn’t even pay your bride price, we said we would pay and do the wine carrying and marriage proper when you give birth. So, wake up, there was no marriage whatsoever between us. The doctor at the hospital I took you to when you said you had a miscarriage has confirmed that you lied about the whole thing”.
Ashamed that her deeds had been found out, Eno packed her clothes into the only box she had and made for the door.
Eno: “I am glad I am even leaving you for good. You are such a senseless and insensitive man. The two months that I have been here are the worst months of my life. I know you are chasing me away so that you can marry Samantha but I promise you that I will deal with her. She will never have you. If I can’t have you, then no one will”.
Dozie: “Get the hell out of my house. you are just bluffing, there is nothing you can do”.
The next day, Samantha, her mother with Dozie as the driver drove to Church for the concluding session of their prayers and fasting session. When they got to the Church premises, her mother and Dozie led her by the hand into the Church where the pastor and other prayer warriors were waiting for them. The pastor instructed Samantha to kneel down in their middle and they began to sing and pray.
Eno was in her mother’s house, locked up in her room all day and despite her mother’s plea, she had refused to open the door or come out to eat. She felt bitter, having been abandoned by Dozie. Her mother’s knock on her door caught her by surprise for she was deeply buried in thoughts. “Mum, just leave me alone, I feel like a failure and I don’t want to see you or eat anything. Just go away, please”.
Mama Eno: “Are you still sulking in there? Instead of you to get up and fight for what is yours, you are in there wasting your time. Well, I got information from a reliable source that Samantha and Dozie are in Fountain of Life Church. Who knows if there are there to tie their nuptial cord”.
“What! No! This is not possible, I will not take this”. She grabbed her bag containing the idol the baba gave her and ran out to her mother’s surprise.
“Where are you running to?” her mother called our after her.
Eno: “To settle this score once and for all”. She grabbed her mother’s car keys from her dressing table and sped away.
When Eno got to the Church, the security personnel at the entrance tried to prevent her from running in but she overwhelmed them and ran into the building where intense prayers and speaking in tongues were going on. “Jesus Christ!” the pastor screamed. Immediately Eno got into the Church and came face to face with Samantha, she felt her head spinning and she couldn’t stand. Then she remembered the warning that the spiritualist had given her the last time she visited him. In her anger and quest for vengeance, she had forgotten that she was told never to behold Samantha again. When the consequence of her disobedience dawned on her, she turned back and sped to the shrine. Samantha and her mother including Dozie and the members of the praying team were surprised at her unruly behavior but they dismissed it and continued praying.
“Baba, I am in trouble o, hey I am dead and finished!”
Spiritualist: “Calm down and tell me exactly what happened”.
Eno: “I…er…em…I mean…I was in my room when I heard that my husband was with my best friend in a Church, I thought they had gone there to wed and I was consumed by rage and anger and I forgot the warning you gave me. I only remembered after I had set my eyes on her”.
Spiritualist: “Arlueeh, abomination. You have committed an unforgivable sacrilege. I am afraid there is nothing we can do about it. Prepare to go blind just as your friend did”.
Eno: “Are you kidding?” she lost her temper and flared up. “Are your gods this dumb that they do not have a solution for a mistake I committed? After I did all that you asked me to do during the thanksgiving rituals? Your gods must be mad. In fact, they are impotent. Afterall, there were not even able to make Dozielove me. I curse the day I came here, I curse all these stupid deaf, dumb, blind and powerless idols. She brought out the idol in her bag and smashed it on the floor”.
“Mbanu!” the spiritualist shouted. “This is the height of insults that my gods can take. This is the straw that will break the camels back. Get out of my shrine, the gods will fight for themselves”.
She drove back to the Church to go and carry out her evil plans but immediately she stepped into the Church premises, she was struck with madness and began to laugh hysterically and display characteristics of mad people. All the people in the Church were surprised and the security men held her bound for fear that she would run away. After hours of intense prayers and praise and worship sessions, the scale fell from Samantha’s eyes and her eyes opened. “Mum, I can see. Pastor, I can see. My healing has come. Thank you, Lord.”
“Halleluya! God never fails”, her mother and other people including Dozie and the pastor chorused. The pastor heard the commotion outside and ran out. Immediately Eno saw that Samantha had regained her sight, a scale like object came over face and her face began to swell.
Eno: “Hahaha, I am finished. Yes, I deserve it, I am reaping what I have sown. Look at you Samantha, I wanted to kill you, that is why I came here but I don’t know what is happening to my head. I broke the sacred idol the spiritualist gave me and insulted the hell out of the gods. Hehehe, the gods are mad. They are crazy and foolishly stupid, hohoho. I was jealous that you were getting married before me and so I seduced Dozie and hired boys to kidnap him on your wedding day and force him to cancel the wedding.Kikikikikikki (laughing in Spanish) I was never pregnant, I did that drama with my mother. Kakakkakakaka (Laughing in French lol), that woman is mad, imagine someone who doesn’t have a man of her own forcing me to get a man for myself. Mad people everywhere”, she ran forward and all those watching and listening to her confessions with their hands on their mouths ran back. “Hahaha, everybody is scared of me, I want to go to my husband place but I don’t know where he is and I know these mad people here will not help me”. She released a long fart and ran out of the Church premises, the security men attempted to stop her but she maneuvered her way through and took off on her knees.
Dozie immediately got on his knees and brought out a ring and took Samantha’s hand. “I bought this ring weeks back and I promised to put it on your finger again. Please, Will you marry me? This time around, I promise not to abandon you on the altar, not for any reason in the world”.
A tear dropped from Samantha’s eyes as she remembered the first time Dozie proposed to her. “I am sorry dozie but I cannot marry you again. The last time I accepted to marry, my heart was shattered beyond repairs. A fragile heart was broken before, I don’t think it can endure another pain”. Tears trickled down her left eye. She shook her head and ran away leaving Dozie on his knees with the ring in his hand. That evening, the spiritualist lost balanced, drowned and died in the famous Ilele River when he went for his daily midnight bath.
Two Months later, Eno escaped from the psychiatrist home where she was on admission. Her mother had tried everything humanly possible including visiting native doctors and spiritual home but her daughter’s condition continued to deteriorate with her face swollen to the point that people ran away whenever they saw her. Mama Eno was in her room taking a nap when Eno ran into the house from the psychiatrist home. Her mother jerked up when she heard her door open suddenly. “What are you doing here? You are supposed to be at the psychiatrist…” before she could conclude her sentence, Eno ran into the kitchen, grabbed a sharp knife, ran back to her mother and stabbed her multiple times to death. She ran out of the house, licking her mother’s blood on the knife and she didn’t know when a trailer on top speed crushed her to death.(Hmmm…. SINNERS they say, will never go UNPUNISHED)
18 months later, after much persuasion and apologies from Dozie and his parents, Samantha agreed to marry him and they got wedded in Church ceremony that was attended by friends and well-wishers. When the reporter who came to cover the event for the national television asked why the bride had no brides maid or maid of honour, Samantha replied. “In this life, there are no friends anymore. What you have are friendly enemies. Once bitten, twice shy”.#WHAT A LIFE#
——THE END–‘—
As Samantha predicament Ends at the sight of her evil friend.
so shall your problems End at the sight of any man or woman who said you can’t make it in life.
Remain bless friends I love you all.
thanks for your time so far...

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What a life (Episode 22)

£pisode 22
Mama Samantha: “So, are you saying there is nothing that we can do about it now?” she asked, eager to leave the shrine for it was making her very uncomfortable.
Spiritualist: “Of course something can be done. There is no one who seeks help from my master that goes back empty handed”.
Mama Samantha: “So, what is the solution?” she asked suspiciously.
Spiritualist: “Your daughter will have to spend 7 days and 7 nights in this shrine after which we shall perform a very expensive sacrifice that will involve the eyes of a woman who was born blind. When the sacrifice is completed, your daughter shall be made whole again. This kind of complicated sacrifice is the only one that can neutralize what has been done on your daughter”.
“What! Human blood?” Samantha and her mother chorused simultaneously.
Spiritualist: “Don’t bother about where you will find a lady blind from birth. All you need do is drop some money and I will give it to the boys as mobilization and they will search for the kind of person that we seek and kidnap her. We have done it several times, that won’t be a problem at all”.
Mama Samantha: “God forbid that I use another person child for sacrifice all in the name of looking for healing for my daughter. I can never do it”.
Samantha: “Mum, what are we still doing here? I can’t believe that we have to kill another person’s child and cause their family grief before I can get my own healing. What if it backfires? That means I will never regain my sight again and that is too bad because I know that with time God will heal me for my hands are clean”.
Neighbour: “If you ask me, I think you should consider what the baba said. Afterall, what is the stress there? You give him some money and he mobilizes some boys who would help you look for the kind of girl he wants to use for sacrifice, it is as simple as that. Shebi we use money to get what we want? How is this different? Hian” she clapped her two hands together.
Mama Samantha: “You will not know how this is different until somebody gives some people money to kill your daughter, that is when you will know that money cannot buy life. For God sake, human being not even a cow or any other animal. Tufiakwa!”
Samantha: “Mum, take me out of here now!”
They left the place and drove home in silence.
Eno got home very tired that morning. She was glad when the security man told her that her husband had already gone to work that morning. She ran to the bathroom and had a thorough bath for she felt dirty after spending the night with the spiritualist. After her bath, she grabbed one of her wigs and wore it, she was determined to keep knowledge of her shaven hair from Dozie and she knew that was not going to be a problem as she had enough wigs to last her months.
After Dozie closed from work, he went to Samantha’s house and refused to leave even when she slammed the door at his face. He remained outside till late into the night, refusing to go home until Samantha’s mother intervened.
Mama Samantha: “I think you should forgive him, my dear. The young man has proven that he is truly sorry for all he did to you”.
Samantha: “To what effect, mum? What is the use of me forgiving him? After all he did to me? He is already married to my best friend and there is nothing anyone can do about it”.
Mama Samantha: “I know, my dear. But forgiveness is freedom. You will be free if you forgive him. I am not saying you should make up with him, but forgiveness is of the Lord. Now that we are praying and believing on God for your healing, I think you should let go of this hurt so that nothing can prevent your healing”.
After much persuasion from her mother, Samantha forgave him and he came back into the house.
Dozie: “Thanks for forgiving me, bae. I want to send you to a hospital in the UK for your eye treatment. I will take care of all the bills. The three of us will fly there together, you, me and your mother. We could leave the day after tomorrow if you are ready”.
Samantha: “It is a good idea but we went to see our pastor earlier in the day and he has given us some prayers and fasting to do, I think we should wait till we finish the prayers and fasting before we travel”.
Dozie: “Okay. I will join in the prayer and fasting then. Whatever it is that will cure you, count me in”.
Samantha: “Really? You fast? What will you tell your wife when she cooks and you refused to eat?”
Dozie: “I don’t have a wife. What I have is a woman leaving with me and her time is up because she lied about being pregnant, now that the pregnancy is no more, she is leaving my house as soon as I get home”.
Samantha: “How can you say she is not your wife? Are you whining me?”
Dozie: “How can I whine you? Do you know that we have never stayed in the same room since we started living under the same roof? I have never given her a peck talk more of touching her. In fact, we don’t talk and I don’t eat her food”.
Samantha: “Okay o, I have heard you”.
Dozie: “But babe, this your swollen eyes fit you o, you look sexier, I feel like kissing you, seff”. Dozie found himself falling deeper in love with Samantha despite her condition as he ran his finger on her face.
Samantha: “Go joh. You are running your mouth because I forgave you abi? Just wait for me to regain my sight, you will see what I will do to you. Kiss ko, s-x ni, you better repent and give your life to God. Yeye child.” She threw the throw pillor on her chair at him.
Dozie: “Hahaha, my baby is calling me yeye child o. Okay, mummy Samantha, I have heard you. I will repent but not until I have done this”.
Samantha: “What?” Dozie drew close to her and covered her lips with a deep and passionate kiss that lasted for minutes. It was one of the longest kisses that they have had since they started dating.
They began to tease each other and Dozie was more than glad to have their days of exchanging banters back. He stayed with her long into the night before he went home.
Immediately he got to the house, Eno was waiting for him in the sitting room. She stopped him at the sitting room’s entrance door with her hands on her waist. “And where are you coming from by this time of the night? Which married man stays outside leaving his wife till almost 11pm?”
Dozie: “Are you crazy or you are just stupid? What right have you to ask me about the time I chose to return to my home? Where were you all through yesterday? You think your mother’s lie last night is enough to keep you safe?”
Eno: “I don’t know what you are talking about. If you think you are going to use that as an escape route or looking for an excuse to cover up for your coming home late then you need to try harder. Only an irresponsible man keeps his wife waiting in the night”.
Dozie: “Don’t you ever refer to yourself as my wife again. If you must know, your time in my house has expired, the pregnancy that you capitalized on to get into my house is no more. I am not even sure any pregnancy existed but I will find out soon. Maybe it will interest you to know that I have made up with Samantha, my true love. Before I come back from the office tomorrow, I want you gone out of my life forever because I am going ahead to marry Samantha”.
Eno: “You lie! I repeat, you lie Dozie. If you think I am going to sit back and watch you bring in blind Samantha as a wife then you don’t know me. Have you seen her eyes? Do you know how that came about? Oh, because I allowed her to be alive right? Let’s see how you will go and marry her now”. She busted uncontrollably, revealing her shocking secrets.
Dozie was taken aback by her reaction. “How did you know that Samantha is blind? What do you mean by me not knowing how she became blind? Are you implying that you know something that we don’t know? In fact, what do you mean by you allowing her to be alive?”
Eno: “Erm…I…ah…I mean”.“I don’t know what you are talking about. Excuse me”. She left the door and returned to her room.
Dozie: “All I know is that your days in this house are numbered. You are leaving my house and my life for good” he shouted after her.
Two weeks later, Samantha although still battling with the eye ailment having being preached to by the pastor had given her life to God and was praying and hoping on him for her healing. “My daughter, I am glad that you have fully given your life to God and that you now know the power of prayers”. Her mother said.
Samantha: “Oh mum, it feels so good to fellowship with the Lord. If only I had been very prayerful before now, I am sure this sort of calamity wouldn’t have befallen me. All the same, I thank God for his mercies, even if I don’t regain my sight anymore, the fact that I have God is alone for me and I am sure that I shall see again at the resurrection on the last day”.
Mama Samantha: “I am very sure that you will see again. My God will do it because he is the impossibility specialist. Remember that tomorrow is the round off prayers for our fasting, we shall be in Church all day tomorrow calling on God for mercy”.
Samantha: “Yes o, mum. I am prepared for it, indeed a day spent in the house of the Lord is more than a thousand elsewhere”.
The next day after work, Dozie drove to the hospital where Eno was admitted when she had the miscarriage. He wanted to send her away and he was looking for a good reason to do so especially since his parents will demand for explanations before they can approve his putting her away. “Doctor, I came in respect of my wife who had miscarriage sometimes ago. You see, she is pregnant again and I just want to ask the cause of the last miscarriage she had so that we can work at avoiding a repeat of that”. He lied.
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