Tuesday, 18 September 2018

10 funny random jokes breaking the internet

1: A  young boy met a very rich business man and asked him"sir, what is the secret of your success?" and he replied, "boy, you have to use your number 6 in 6 ways". The boy was so surprised and asked him "sir, how in 6ways?" he further replied "I only do business 6 times in a year,
1. I sell bags of rice during d xmas season,
2. I sell children clothes duringchildren's day celebration,
3. I sell poultry during the easter celebration period,
4. I sell condoms on valetine day,
5. I sell indian hemp on Bob marley's rememberance day. So, you see why i am successful?" the boy asked "sir, you did not tell me the 6th" he then smiled and said "
6. I go on VACATION" the boy asked"VACATION? To where?" The man replied " yes I normally on vacation go to jail". 




2: A  wife suspected her husband was sleeping with their maid, so she laid a trap. She sent the maid to the village for weekend and didn't tell her husband. That night they went tobed. The husband woke up and gave his old story. "Excuse me dear,i want to watch Tv in the parlor", he went tothe parlor first. Shortly, wife snicked into the maid's room, stripped and laid on the bed light off. She heard him come in silently and wasted no time with words and started making luv with her since she was Unclad. When he finished, the wife said to him, "God has exposed you, you didn't expect me on this bed, did you"? She then switched on the light."No Madam!!!" said the gate man, I'msorry I didn't know you were the one.


3: A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”. “Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks thepatient. The doctor replies, “You onlyhave 24 hours to live.” “That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies,“I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”



4: After two weeks in Dubai, Akpors came back to Naija with the American slang/accent. He flew in late and while on his way home was stopped by a men of the Nigeria Police Force."Hey, where u dey go?""Wat de f*ck do u mean, Yo talking tu me?"replied Akpors This incited anger in these men who understands nothing but the Naija street language (Pidgin). He was taking to the police station and put in a cell. There in the cell, Akpors kept on ranting and shouting,"Yo bunch of shits, I gat the damn right to make a phone call in this cell. Get me a f*cking fone!!"This went on until a BOSS (Oga) in the cell told one of his boys in his husky and thunderous voice,"Scorpion, abeg give this guy a phone call"Scorpion headed straight to Akpors corner and landed him a THUNDEROUS SLAP"GBOOOOAAAAAAA". The sound was nothing far from the sound of a Thunder strike."E done dey ring, abi make I redial?"Akpors accent changed,"Bros abeg, e don connect"






5: A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.. ."You all have obsessions ,"he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said,"You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."He turned to the second Mom, Ann:"Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."He turns to the third Mom, Joyce:"Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers."Come on, Dick, we' re leaving!"




6: A man and his wife had four kidz, a Declaration was made that any couple with five children will recieve a reward of 20million from the government. The man told his wife not worry as he was going to bring his daughter from his Girlfriend to complete the other four kidz. He came back with his girls child n discovered that it was one, one child that was left in his house, when he asked the wife what happened to the other three, she said"their father came and pick them aswell, the man fainted...... ....... .




7: A young boy met a very rich business man and asked him"sir, what is the secret of your success?" and he replied, "boy, you have to use your number 6 in 6 ways". The boy was so surprised and asked him "sir, how in 6ways?" he further replied "I only do business 6 times in a year,
1. I sell bags of rice during d xmas season,
2. I sell children clothes duringchildren's day celebration,
3. I sell poultry during the easter celebration period,
4. I sell condoms on valetine day,
5. I sell indian hemp on Bob marley's rememberance day. So, you see why i am successful?" the boy asked "sir, you did not tell me the 6th" he then smiled and said "
6. I go on VACATION" the boy asked"VACATION? To where?" The man replied " yes I normally on vacation go to jail



8: An igboman fell into a well,screaming for help,the wife came with a rope to help,He look at the rope and said"how much did the rope cost?"the wife said 1000 naira"stil l inside the well the man shouted"WHAT!!!!!Return it now !!,go to Papa Emeka at the 4th avenue,he sells it for 300 naira,HURRY…pls oº°˚˚˚°º b4 die ï patapata here oº°˚˚




9:  ABlack Guy and a White Girl met at a nightclub. She took him to her apartment and said;"Tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!!!"So he tied her to the bed and ran off with the Jewels, Cash, Mobile and Laptop




10: A professor Explains Advance Marketing theory to his MBA students 1) When you see a rich girl in a party and you walk to her and say am rich marry me, that's Direct marketing 2) You attend. Party and your friend goes to a girl and point @ you saying he is very rich marry him..that's Advertisement 3) @ a party and a girl walk to you and said you are rich and handsome will you marry me? That's is Brand recognition... 4) You see a girl @ a party and you walk up to her and say am rich and have a big.... And she slaps you, that's customer feed back. 5) But when you go the party and find a girl on her own, trying to do notice me and none seem to 3 things will deffinately run through your mind (a) Bad market (B) xpired goods (c).....

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